This article is more of a “philosophical musing” than a review. But people often give bottles of wine or whiskey as gifts, and so I think this bears discussion. After the end of the Jewish Holidays a few weeks ago, several friends told me how they had gone into someone’s house to have a few drinks, and the host pulled out a bottle of Johnnie Walker Excelsior. To a man, they all loved the Excelsior, did some serious damage to the bottle and later positively raved about it. Now, I’ll admit that I had never heard of Excelsior before, but a little bit of searching revealed that J.W. Excelsior was a very limited edition of double-matured whiskey bottled in 1997 from whiskey distilled in 1947. And yes, that silent mental whistle accompanied by the thought “50 years old?” was also accompanied by a steep price tag of over $500. Today, the few bottles of Excelsior for sale are listed with price tags in the $1500 range. Now here’s the kicker – the host had not bought the bottle of Excelsior – he received it as a gift. Now, I have no opposition to very expensive bottles of whiskey, but I do have a sense of what is appropriate to an occasion. Simchas Torah morning is NOT the occasion to pull out a $500 bottle of whiskey, let alone a $1500 bottle. I honestly think the reason why he put it out is that he had no clue how expensive a bottle it was. And that brings us to the point of this discussion. I’ve seen many discussions both in liquor stores and in on-line forums about what to buy someone as a gift. The way I see it, there are 4 basic scenarios in whiskey-gift buying. Let’s look at them one by one:
First, and simplest to discuss, is connoiseur giver-connoiseur receiver. There’s really nothing to discuss here – the connoiseur giver knows what is appropriate to buy, most likely knows the tastes of the receiver, and knows where he’s going to buy the bottle.
Second scenario: connoiseur giver – clueless receiver. I’m using clueless as a flexible term – it means anyone with substantially less knowledge than the giver. This is where the story up above comes from, and many a glorious bottle of liquor has been wasted in this scenario. As another example, about 7 years ago a friend was looking to buy a house, and I went to look at it with him. The sellers had a bottle of Remy Martin Louis XIII cognac sitting on the floor in the corner of the dining room. They had received it as a gift 3 years beforehand, were not cognac drinkers, and had NO CLUE what it was (at the time, a $1300 bottle of cognac). So it sat and gathered dust. This problem comes from the connoisseur giver tending to over-complicate the gift giving.
Third scenario: clueless giver-connoiseur receiver. The worst harm that can be done here is in the unskilled or unscrupulous retailer selling something overpriced or inappropriate to the consumer, but what I also encounter is the phenomenon of intimidation. People are sometimes too afraid to give me alcohol, because it may not be up to my standards. I truly feel bad when people say that to me. When someone comes to my house for a meal and brings a bottle of wine, I add the gift to the bottles to be opened at that meal, and drink it with my guest – regardless of what it is. Believe it or not, I am willing to drink inexpensive wines. Recently, I’ve had 2 different people give me bottles of Johnnie Walker Blue Label as gifts in gratitude for favors. I like Blue Label, but have never bought it for myself because I feel it is overpriced. Nevertheless, I thanked the givers heartily, and expressed admiration – if nothing else, I appreciate the fact that they spent that much money on the gift, and am flattered by that. I’m holding the bottles for celebratory occasions.
Fourth scenario, clueless giver-clueless receiver. Neither knows, neither cares very much either. What’s to discuss?
In the middle two scenarios, it’s up to the connoiseur to exercise good judgment and good behavior. Regarding the third scenario (clueless giver-connoiseur receiver) I’ve seen situations where people recommended good Islay single malt scotches to clueless givers. Now, I really, really like Islay single malts (Ardbeg, Bowmore, Caol Ila, Laphroaig, Bruichladdich, Bunnahabhain…) but unless you know the receiver likes Islays, the recommendation has poor odds of hitting the mark. The giver is better served by being steered to something with wider appeal and reputation, even if the price is a bit inflated. Any connoiseur will appreciate receiving a Macallan 18, even if he doesn’t drink Macallan, because what connoiseur doesn’t know Macallan? But if the receiver drinks Macallan 18, he probably won’t appreciate a Bowmore 25. On the other hand, as a connoiseur receiver, one MUST show good behavior and show a great deal of appreciation, even if slightly disappointed with the actual gift.
When I give a whiskey gift, I try to pick something likely to appeal to the receiver. Sometimes that demands an overpriced, broad reputation item like Blue Label. Usually, it just demands a good bottle, in which case I will probably resort to something from Warehouse (see my review under Retail Venues) but I may use a “dark horse” – an unknown product with very broad appeal flavors. I used to get a big kick out of giving bottles of Jon Mark and Robbo’s Rich and Spicy, because it was relatively unknown, inexpensive, and could stand shoulder to shoulder with products more than twice as expensive. Rich and Spicy always went over well. Too bad JMR closed up shop. Regardless of JMR’s closing up shop, the connoiseur giver has a choice – either be cognizant of whom you are giving to, or be the perpetrator of a tragic waste. I’d sooner give a 6 bottle case of $200 whiskey than a single $1200 bottle. And if I managed to get those 6 bottles for $100 each, well, that’s my business.
In this post, I’ve described two tragic wastes of really high-end bottles – the Johnnie Walker Excelsior and the Remy Martin Louis XIII. And the two stand as polar opposites – the Excelsior was sacrificed in a situation where admittedly discerning heavy drinkers obliterated most of the bottle because nobody knew how precious it was, and the Louis was relegated to gathering dust – a twofold waste because Louis XIII comes in a Bacarrat crystal decanter. I don’t think that this post will eliminate such examples, but hopefully it will get people to think a little more about what they recommend/buy, and maybe prevent a tragic waste or two.
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